Friday, 29 June 2012

Over Shoulder Boulder Holder

Just read a brilliant post by Dr G's Vintage about comfy undies, and thought what a great idea to write a post for the ladies who are endowed with more booby than is practicable.

Now I'm not talking about the fake ones, I'm talking about the real ones. The ones that can make your life a living hell.


I don't know anything about statistics and I've not done a poll, but I do know there are lots of women in this country with such huge breasts they can affect their everyday life. I know this as I have a pair of these huge monstrosities, that I have to lug around 24 hours a day.

 I can't wear pretty delicate lacy underwear, I have to wear something that resembles the scaffolding around Battersea Power Station! 

The delicate stuff just isn't up to the job, the straps are too thin and cut into your shoulders like cheese wire, imagine carrying a really heavy carrier bag all day that's cutting into your fingers and you can't put down. Then there is the problem with the cup size, it's either too low or the material hasn't enough elastic to hold you in, and you get the unflattering double breasted look, or they spill out under the armpits, both of which are very uncomfortable!

Then you get the under-wired ones, manufacturers will have you believe under-wires offer support. They might do if you are of a normal size, but I wouldn't know. When you are carrying around something that is nearly the same weight as a couple of bags of sugar, under-wires do absolutely nothing except dig into your ribs and the skin under your arms, feeling much like they are trying to get into you internal organs.

Very few shops stock the large over-sized  bra's which makes getting new ones difficult. 

The only real option is online, and that can be a nightmare. The manufacture of over-sized bra's has improved greatly over the last 10 years or so, but as any woman knows, you really need to try it on. Manufacturers sizes vary greatly, and so do the shape of womens breasts.

 Last time I went to buy a bra, I was lucky enough to find a shop that had some that were nearly my size. I tried on 17 before I found one that fitted. Great I've found a bra, so I ask for 6 more as I really needed to replace my old ones, only to be told I will have to order the rest as they only carry one size of each style in stock. How frustrating, if I had been of a normal size I could have bought them there and then!

Then there are the physical problems. The constant back pain because of carrying what amounts to an heavy ill fitting rucksack on your front, and the bleeding shoulders because of the constant digging in of the straps, and the never ending war against fungal infections underneath these alien life forms!

Then when it comes to finding clothes, it's yet another nightmare. You can't wear anything strapless, low cut or with thin straps, because of the huge ugly bra you have on underneath.  I hear somebody saying "Why not use Tit Tape?" I'll tell you why, it  isn't up to the job, now if they made it with Superglue then maybe! 

Any seams or lace on the bra show though the front of thin blouses, and you can always see how wide the straps and back strap are through the back of anything tight fitting.

After a lot of years you have had enough of this living hell, so you go to the Doctor to ask for a Breast Reduction. Only to be told that very few are done by the NHS as it is not classed as a medical problem, you will have to go private!

Yet if you want a breast enlargement, all you have to say is the size of your breasts make you feel unhappy about your body image,  and voila you can get bigger breasts on the NHS.

How unfair is that!!!

 
  

17 comments:

  1. Once again u've made me proper chuckle with ur complete honesty about the world n life's lil ( or in the case big) problems ")
    Thanx for keeping things real i may even think about starting my own blog so i can have a rant to lol xx Lou xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lou, you really should start a blog they are great fun, also you will meet some amazing people on here.

      People blog about allsorts.

      D xxx

      Delete
  2. Hi Dawn it's Aimee :) while I know this is not funny exactly, I'm the polar opposite. At age 40 I'm still waiting to grow into an A cup :/. I can't wear nice lacy stuff either, because while I'm a plus size my breast are not and by the time a shirt fits me comfortably, there is so much excess where boobs should be. Of course never gain weight there, but I will lose it there. I might have to try the one about my breast size makes me feel bad about myself :D. See if my ins. Will cover it ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Aimee, glad to see you here.

      I think boobs are an ongoing problem for many women either too big or to small, most of us want the opposite of what we have. Where you lose weight there, mine never seem to go down, the more weight I lose the bigger they seem to be.

      When I started this post I had a different idea in my head of what to write about, but it ended out totally different to what I intended. It was supposed to be a lighthearted ramble about huge bra's but then went a bit off course.

      D xxx

      Delete
  3. Hey Dawn, it's taken me a while to grow into mine :-)

    Even so, the manufacturers seem to think it's acceptable to constantly change the sizes, and did you know that a certain department store only stocks a C cup padded bra. If you want unpadded you have to be a D or larger - frustrating!

    Seems you have started something x.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree its so frustrating the way they keep changing sizes and styles.

      Have to admit I hadn't noticed the problem you describe, but that is because for me bra shopping consists of going to the boxed section and checking sizes, not what is in the box.

      Thankfully mine are in a box, it would be so embarresing in the queue, I always seem to be standing next to some nubile young girl with hangers of pretty bras.

      Would appear bra shopping is a nightmare for all sizes, in fact I would go as far to say its even bigger than my blobs!

      D xxx

      Delete
  4. A great post Dawn and oh, so very true. Sometimes even if you buy a bra that is made by a well known make, it doesn't fit! I don't really want to dress like an armoured tank, but sometimes feel that perhaps a softly-lined metal version might help!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jill, what a great idea.

      Maybe I should design armoured bras for a living "Zena Warrior Style" what do you think?

      D xxx

      Delete
    2. Sounds a great idea - not too sure I will be in the front line to volunteer wearing it in public though. Well under a tent maybe.

      Delete
    3. It would be a big fail in the comfort department I feel LOL

      D xxx

      Delete
    4. Back to the drawing board. Not that I was around at the time, but do remember reading/seeing that Howard Hawks designed a bra for Jane Russell who was also a member of the well-endowed club. We need a modern-day Howard Hawks.

      Delete
    5. Maybe I should should put the idea to the Dragons lol

      D xxx

      Delete
    6. Brilliant idea - or perhaps a Mature Apprentice series is needed. Joint venture with Alan Sugar?

      Delete
  5. I think this should be required reading for every woman who wants to have breast enhancement!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Dawn, it's Aimee :D. I must say, sometimes I wish I could relate. It's hard to buy pretty undies when your plus size but completely flat chested :/ and while there is no physical pain, there is a pain of a type and that can be brutal in a different way. I so enjoy your posts. Love and much respect. Hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Aimee, glad to see you here again.

      We all have our problems, even the so called "normal" sized people. I have learnt to embrace what I am as I can not change it.

      I felt your pain for years before I had my son. As a teenager I was Miss 32A I was stick thin, if I put a bra on I had to pad it out otherwise all you could see through the shirt was the crumpled bra. I looked like a boy and I hated it! People (mainly blokes) always seemed to think it was fine to comment on my physic!!! It hurt, it hurt a lot!!!

      My granny who was a very large lady in the 60's and 70's (which was rare in them days) was a very wise lady when it came to the bullies, and always used to say to me "Be careful what you wish for, if you get it you won't be happy" Oh how right she was!

      Once I learnt to dress for my shape rather than fashion I learnt to love myself for myself, as when I make the effort with wearing the right clothes and the right bra I look a whole lot more stream line. Did you know approx 80% of women wear the wrong size bra?

      We are all beautiful in our own way, it is the magazines and TV that gives us complexes about the way we look, there is no such thing as "normal" we are what we are.

      Many thanks for the hugs and nice comment about my posts.

      xxx

      Delete

Thank you for stopping by to say Hello xxx